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If you want to know how well your fellow writers are doing don't do this:
"How's that novel going?"
"Great! It's going fantastic. Pounded out 10,473 words today!"
"Really? I did 11,238 words."
"Yeah? Well, I might have done more but I drove some orphans to their vaccinations. gave blood for anemic lemurs and did a photoshoot for Sexy Writers Monthly."
"Really? I just did 10,000 more words."
"Fuck you."
Trust me. They are lying bastards. Everybody lies about their word count. It's a pissing contest for writers.
You want to know how much time your "pal" is actually putting in behind the keyboard check out their bathroom. Or the kitchen sink. Or, God forbid, the kitty litter box. If your friend, the rat bastard who constantly wants you to read their stuff but never EVER pays for the drinks, is living in a house that needs a FEMA loan to get it fit for human habitation, they are writing. The bastard. If dirty plates with half eaten sandwiches and styrofoam boxes of Chinese takeout are stacked high enough to make a fort, your friend is writing. The bastard. When a person is blessed with a horny muse that is pounding out story ideas into your mindhole faster than your fingers can type, everything else just falls away.
On the other hand, my house is fucking immaculate.
Do the math.
Bastards.
*Because I used their mug as a graphic. Check out this website.
http://www.squidoo.com/top10tipsforwritersblock?utm_source=google&utm_medium=imgres&utm_campaign=framebuster
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